Archive for February, 2008
Right Place & Earth Activation

Can people be keyed to particular places? As I indicated in LOVE vs. FEAR, I have been dreaming and — yes — obsessing about moving to Maine for many years. Does it mean anything? Is it escapism as my leftie friends used to suggest? Yes, Maine is overwhelmingly white and yes, there are precious few jobs there, but I feel its earth so deeply. It calls me from miles away. The weird thing is that I was saying I wanted to move there long before I visited. I am not sure why – I had no known connection to the place. But once I visited it was definitely love and I have gone back many times.

My husband and I have visited Mount Desert Island, particularly Acadia National Park, several times in September, our favorite time of year. We spent the trips hiking and I saw some people on those trails – people from all over – whom I had seen in previous years. It seemed to me that we were all being drawn back. For example, one year we met a man from Cleveland in the woods between Sieur de Monts and The Tarn. As I recall, we were going to do a Dorr Mountain hike we had never done before and he appeared to be coming back from it. We asked him if we were headed the right way. We talked for a few minutes, exchanged stories and tips on our favorite trails – he recommended the Canon Brook Trail – then went each went on our ways. The next year we were doing the Acadia/St. Sauveur loop when we ran into him again at the top of Acadia Mountain. This time he approached us for directions. He didn’t seem to recognize us, but I recognized him immediately. There was a vibration in the air – something was buzzing under the surface the whole time.

That was the week of the Equinox in 2004 – which was the last time we were in Maine. It was an especially interesting trip all around. The trails always have wisdom to teach me, but this time there was more. For one thing, hundreds of crickets were congregating around our motel room door and walkway every day we were there. This might freak some people out, but I love crickets so I welcomed them as friendly visitors and good omens. (Though we had to be very careful not to step on them, or crush them in the door, there were so many.)

On the morning of the Equinox itself, we visited a sacred boulder in the woods. Actually, this was our second pilgrimage to it. On the first the year before, I rather brashly asked it to relieve me of my nicotine addiction. Do you know what? That ancient and profoundly patient boulder did indeed take it away. I haven’t smoked or used any kind of nicotine substitute since – after 20 years of hardcore cigarette addiction.

Anyway, this second pilgrimage was more intense. On our way in, the forest was thick with a deep, rich primordial presence. I was leading and halfway in I saw a black bear cross our path about fifty feet ahead. The crossing was silent, from right to left, and the bear disappeared without a trace seconds after appearing. My husband didn’t see it, but he was behind me so he didn’t have a clear view. To be honest, it terrified me, but we continued on and the presence grew stronger. When we reached the boulder, I was disappointed to find someone already there. The stranger had managed to climb on top of the boulder and was doing a meditation – one hand on his heart and the other hand gesturing toward the top of Cadillac Mountain. I was self-conscious at first, but eventually my husband and I each did our own meditations at the base of the boulder while the stranger continued his on top. I had the sensation that my hands and head were dissolving into the rock, but nothing earth shattering happened. I felt love for the rock and kissed it.

Somehow I came away with realizations that became more clear on the trails in the next few days. I kept getting images of splits – split rocks, split trees, even Mount Desert Island itself is split. The message was that there was a split within me, and that I needed to align my WILL with my HEART in order to heal it.

On the last evening of our trip, we did something unusual for us – we drove to the top of Cadillac Mountain. Sunset was approaching and we wanted to say goodbye to the Island before going to dinner. We thought Cadillac Mountain would be a good place to do that since, as the highest point on the North Atlantic seaboard, it commands a grand view. Well, it just so happened that the Queen Mary II had just arrived in Bar Harbor for the first time ever. Who knew that this was a big deal? Everyone but us, apparently. The top of Cadillac was crawling with cruise ship oglers and TV news crews, in addition to the normal crowd of tourists.

The mood was not ideal for a spiritual experience. Nevertheless, something happened to me there.

The pink haze of the sky was fusing with the pink granite of the mountain – and all around there was an incredible pulsation. The energy was palpable – couldn’t everyone feel it? It was bubbling up through me and erupting out of my head, making me a fountain. There was a lump in my throat, a massive thickening in my chest and a charge running up my neck and spreading out and up across the back of my head. I felt overwhelming LOVE. I wanted to stay there forever.

After a while, my husband indicated that we should leave before the mass exodus. I could see he wasn’t having the same experience. I was having trouble talking. I mutely went along.

On our way back to the car, I was still bubbling over. I passed a little boy who was walking the other way hand in hand with his mother. He beamed at me and then bashfully turned his face into his mother’s side as he passed by. It seemed odd then I realized that he had reacted that way to me because I was beaming like a beacon at him. He was beaming back.

I returned home with such heightened sensitivity that I could no longer bear the negativity of my job. Going back to work was like jumping into a vat of acid. A few weeks later I had the Glowing Green Man dream. A few months later, I up and quit my job.

According to P. Chris Kaiser in The Chakra System of Mount Desert Island, “Cadillac Mountain is an activator mountain. . . . As the heart chakra on the island, it activates people’s hearts” (23). Kaiser relays how he had a shamanic encounter with a bear on Cadillac’s South Ridge Trail. The encounter culminated in a profound embrace. He suggests that others have had bear experiences on and around Cadillac Mountain, more than a simple sighting like mine. The boulder, he says, is the base chakra of the Mountain. He calls it “Wolfie” after his son.

After his amazing experience on the South Ridge Trail, Kaiser awoke in the night and transcribed what he felt was a transmission from Cadillac Mountain. Some highlights are as follows:

You are being awakened. You don’t know why you come, but you come to me. I am an activation point. I am activating the Earth and I am activating you. After you walk on me changes start to take place in your life. Little did you know, it was my energy that triggered the change. . . .

There are people arriving here now on the island who will be working with me and through me to activate the energies of the Earth just as their brothers, the Native Americans, did before them. There are those who can feel the energy vibration that I send out. . . .

As I am activated, in turn the Earth will be activated. My vibratory rate will not only become stronger, but it will be raised to a higher octave. I am one of many activation points on the Earth. . . .

Be open and receptive and I will fill you with my wisdom, for I have been here a long time. Wake up and become aware. You are capable of so much more. If you fail to listen you will be missing the opportunity of many lifetimes. Actually you are here now to take advantage of this opportunity. You chose to be here. (40-44)

So . . . here is my current dilemma: The urge to move to my Right Place in the World has been building within me for over a decade. I have been stuck on Maine as that Right Place, but various obstacles have kept it a ‘one day maybe’ and not a reality. In the meantime, we continue to live in a place and work in jobs that are sucking the life energy from us. In the last several months, the desire to move out of the toxic waters around us and into a like-minded community – sooner rather than later – has become so strong that we’re considering other places that might be more logistically feasible. In the fall, we started taking trips to scout out these places. More recently, this inner urge has received independent corroboration from various external sources that echo the call to form like-minded groups in preparation for the changes to come. For example, this extraordinary talk (second video) given by Andrew Smith, author of The Revolution of 2012, which I was introduced to by Kingsley Dennis’s equally extraordinary blog. Smith’s talk is what got me thinking that maybe evolving and surviving could be the same path. Up until then I was assuming that at the critical point, I would go to Cadillac Mountain and meditate, and probably be swept away by a colossal tsunami.

So, back to the dilemma . . . Is my long time obsession with moving to Maine an indication that Maine is my Right Place? Or was I keyed to Maine merely for activation? Where is our mutual Right Place, if not Maine? But what about my connection with Cadillac Mountain? Am I one of those keyed to working with it to activate the energies of the Earth? What does that entail? I want to fulfill my role – how do I do it? These may be crazy questions, but they are on my mind.

Meanwhile, synchronicities like the following give me pause: A couple years ago, I stumbled upon a novel – self-published, I think – wherein the heroine has my name (an uncommon name) and lives in Maine. She is on a grail quest – not the kind of grail quest that I am on, but a grail quest nonetheless. In the story, her friend is killed in a car accident at a specific intersection in Bucksport. I was in a car accident at that very intersection in Bucksport in September of 2001. Given that I have only traveled the intersection ten times at the most, this strikes me as a big coincidence.

Maybe the answer is obvious and it is only self-imposed limitation – FEAR – that keeps me from seeing it clearly and taking the necessary next step.

LOVE vs. FEAR in Descending Kali Yuga

Back to the choice we face as we spiral down the hourglass of the age. In 2012: Two Paths, I talked about LOVE vs. FEAR and then relayed a dream of a global catastrophe in which I did not choose as I would have hoped. As strongly as I feel about choosing LOVE over FEAR, some unaligned levels of my being have their own ideas.

LOVE vs. FEAR is the essential struggle within me.

I know FEAR. I am something of a specialist in it. My childhood was marked by trauma, and this designated me the likely heir to the legacy of my female forebears on my father’s side: panic, anxiety and agoraphobia.

But modern American life didn’t offer me the option of staying home and cooking elaborate family recipes all day, so I battled back, or else it seemed I would fall off the face of the earth.

I refused meds but tried some mainstream behavior therapies. I made what was called progress, but I have to say that much of my adult life was a white-knuckle ride, with me endlessly struggling to “overcome my fears” and coming away from both victories and defeats with the same raw, battered, exhausted feeling that told me I was just too fundamentally defective to deal with the world.

Basically my life was shaped, circumscribed and defined by FEAR.

Somehow, though, another way of thinking unfolded in my consciousness. It started with 11:11 and the chain of synchronicity that I began following at that time. The Kybalion came my way, and through it I learned of the Principle of Polarity and its conscious manipulation: To change an undesirable mental vibration, concentrate on the opposite pole. For me this was a profound revelation. You don’t overcome or otherwise eliminate the darkness. You let in the light.

So that’s path I’ve been traveling. It has been a transformative period. A period in which I’ve come to realize that the way is not to eliminate my “defects” or to adopt “ideal” behaviors as they are defined in American culture, but instead to fully become who I am.

I also came to understand that the opposite side of FEAR is not courage – it’s LOVE.

But while I’ve been moving toward LOVE and away from FEAR, the dominant culture around me has been moving sharply, aggressively, emphatically in the opposite direction. I happen to live in a stronghold of the dominant culture, so I am swimming in waters that are cold, dark and inhospitable. The contradiction is intensely painful – I long to find my Right Place in the World, but that is another story. The point now is simply that the culture in which I live does not support heart-centered living. Instead it is like Michael Corleone’s Family – it keeps pulling me back into my own negativity.

So the LOVE/FEAR polarity is a dynamic opposition within me. The Global Catastrophe dream is a gift because it dramatizes my contradictions and gives me an opportunity to resolve them.

Two points stand out for me:

Although my intention is to choose LOVE, I have trouble actually receiving it. Case in point: the dream opens with me moving to the place I love most in the world. I have longed to move to Maine for almost twenty years now. And there I am in the dream, in the early stages of buying a house there. I went out into the backyard and took a handful of earth, breathing it in deeply because that’s how overjoyed I was. The opening scene is LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Sadly, my dreaming mind could not allow me to receive this abundance. It recoiled from LOVE and put me in a place many people I know FEAR. I lived in Newark for several years. I know better than to react to it with knee-jerk FEAR, like the average white suburbanite around here. Nevertheless, it was not the most pleasant place to live, not back then. It is currently undergoing a renewal, but then it was grim and dilapidated — and very inconvenient in terms of access to reasonably priced goods and services. It had still not recovered since the time of the Rebellion. Newark history and politics aside, when I lived there, my life was circumscribed by scarcity and FEAR.

So my dream consciousness turned from LOVE to FEAR. It diverted me from my ideal place to a place of grim limitation. I need to think more deeply about the ways in which I am not accepting LOVE and instead living in self-imposed scarcity.

The second point concerns my anxiety about how I might react in a crisis of horrific proportions. Up until now, I have been assuming that – in the event of a global catastrophe – evolving might not mean surviving. I guess on some level I was thinking that a global catastrophe would involve a quick exit from this plane. I was not prepared – mentally or otherwise – to live in a post-catastrophe world of slow death by radiation, starvation and mob violence. When faced with that world in the dream, I reverted back into base-level FEAR, absurdly wishing I had stashed cash so that my family and I could somehow finagle our own little way to some semblance of safety.

Clearly I have work to do. The question is not which energy I am carrying because I have both LOVE and FEAR churning within me. I don’t have the answers, but I do know the path lies in the heart. I will continue to work on the heart chakra and on expanding the LOVE that flows through me.

All Along the Watchtower

I’ve been quiet for a while because I seriously feel like I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole. I posted some entries trying to define my sense of what may be ahead for us on planet Earth as we careen toward 2012. Suddenly I am finding things that I’ve long been searching for. I am becoming aware of the greater chorus of voices saying similar things and much more. What is freaking me out is how often the same phrases and metaphors are used independently. It’s like we are tuned into the same frequency.

As I explore what’s out there, I am experiencing incredible synchronicities. They are piling up and accelerating and ushering me toward a door – a one-pointed focus. Before I was a dreamer struggling to maintain lucidity in the dream. Now I think I am awakening.

I think others are doing well in their research and commentary. I am trying to figure out where I fit into this – what is my contribution. My first response is always to go within. I need to take my sword of discernment – such that it is with all the first-house Pisces I’ve got going on – and sort through the new material that I’ve been absorbing. All I know now is I feel energized despite what’s on the horizon. I feel I have something important to work toward. We all do.