Archive for June, 2008
Dream: Rocket Crash & Shadow Aircraft

I dreamt I looked out my office window here at home and saw an aircraft hurtling in for a crash landing. It looked like a rocket flying on its side like a plane, low and parallel to the horizon. It screamed across the sky and then exploded some distance to the southwest.

There was a huge commotion there – a crowd of emergency vehicles, lights flashing, sirens wailing, amid great plumes of smoke and fire. But it seemed that the commotion was there before the crash, and the exploded rocket was merely adding to the chaos on the ground. I wasn’t sure.

I studied the air above the crash site. At first it appeared empty, but then my eyes refocused and just like when the other side of an optical paradox emerges, I could make out two huge dark space ships and a slew of other strange aircraft hovering above the area. They looked like shadow craft, but they were darkly lit and now that they had emerged from their camouflage, I could make out their complexities.

It crossed my mind that a new war may be breaking out. I raced to turn on the TV and radio to hear what was going on. Station after station was playing the same inane commercials and programming as if nothing was amiss in America. But I could see with my own eyes out my own window that the reality was clearly and extremely otherwise.

Out of Sync: More Wage Slavery Angst

contribution.JPGLately the synchronicity stream has me awash in one-offs. I jolt awake at 4:43 and 3:44 and 4:45. My timestamps are 3:33:34 and 4:44:43. My electric toothbrush stops inexplicably at 2:21 minutes while I am still trying to brush. People inadvertently send me emails at exactly 1:10. The best was the QA test I received at work after I finished telling a friend I am always one off lately – the auto-generated title was “Sanity Test 11:10:10.”

I feel off. The perennial contradiction between my job and what I see as my true work in the world has me spiraling down. I hate that I spend most of my time and energy working for The Man. I hate the idea generally, and it only makes it worse that my job is absurd on every level.

It hurts my head to do my job. I don’t know how else to describe it. Work is an energetic river – I guess all activity is – and dipping into this particular river does violence to my mind and spirit.

It’s not that my job entails activities are in themselves difficult – far from it. But they are crude and inane – and far beyond one person in volume.

Ultimately, though, the work is fundamentally non-aligned. You could say that I work for the defenders of those who would put a spigot on air and force us to pay to breathe.

It’s painful to turn to that frequency.

To those of you in the same boat as me, I ask can we agree to stop this? Spending our days working for the wrong team in grossly mismanaged situations, banging our heads into walls, trying to accomplish nonsensical tasks given to us by bosses without a respective clue, doing the work of whole departments because they keep laying people off, driving long, harrowing commutes back to heavily mortgaged homes . . . By the time we’re home, we’re mentally and physically exhausted, but then there many household tasks that every good suburbanite must do. We’re just starting to feel human again when it’s time to go to sleep. Next thing we know, the alarm is ringing and we have to go back.

I don’t want to go back.

There is something else I long to do that I think would be a much more worthwhile contribution, but it doesn’t often pay a living. I’ve been trying to figure out a way, but the health care/health insurance issue is a stumper.

I may not have figured out an alternate route yet, but I do know we are all better than this. Our time, our will, our creative power should not be wasted and misused in this way. This is NOT who we are.

I really liked Charles Eisenstein’s post “Money: A New Beginning” on Reality Sandwich a while back. He captured the absurdity of the artificial scarcity that we are living in. He writes:

For indeed, we live in a world of fundamental abundance, a world where vast quantities of food, energy, and materials go to waste. Half the world starves while the other half wastes enough to feed the first half. In the Third World and our own ghettos, people lack food, shelter, and other basic necessities, but cannot afford to buy them. Other people would love to supply these necessities and do other meaningful work, but cannot because there is no money in it.

When paying work is meaningless at best and destructive at worst and when meaningful work doesn’t pay enough to sustain the worker, the system is obviously unsustainable.

“Contribution” image by my husband, used courtesy of a marriage license.